Pre-marital sex is a complicated topic that can’t truly be summed up through one question or statement. With this said, while the question originally presented on this site was a bit vague, it was the perfect catalyst to produce the talking points that have been presented by other bloggers thus far. When it comes to sexuality, I often wonder if our world has confused itself and incorrectly accepted a vision of sex that is both damaging to society and to the individual. If you regularly read my pieces you know where I stand on related issues like abortion and embryonic stem cell research, but when it comes to sex the situation tends to get a bit more technical. Generally, people are on the defensive, as no one would like to be known for doing something “immoral” or sub-moral for that matter.
But when it comes to sex, I think it’s important to be self-critical. But before going there, let me explain my stance in simple terms: I believe that God created each and every man and woman with another individual in mind for him or her to find, fall in love with and inevitably share the gifts of life with. Unfortunately, as society has changed and developed divorce and other dividing issues have emerged and corroded the family unit.
Today, we see young people engaging in sexual acts well before they’re ready. Jillian wrote a blog on this subject some time ago, and while I will agree that sex is a normal and healthy process, it should be utilized in the proper context.
All too often our society simply concedes that its acceptable for our youth to have multiple partners and to experiment. The fact of the matter is that sex effects us emotionally, whether we’d like to admit it or not – it’s undeniable. God designed human beings with the ability to not only feel love, but with the capability to also show another person what love is in a tangible sense. This is a wonderful — yet potentially dangerous fact of nature.
So when I read Jillian Garrity, I get a bit nervous for our society:
"I personally feel that sexual exploration is an important part of becoming a well-adjusted adult. I certainly believe in safe sex and the importance of education on disease prevention is high, but I don’t feel that we should allow the "dangers" around sex to keep young adults from expressing and acting on a natural desire to be sexual with another person."
Right, but eating is a natural desire as well (and I constantly overeat). There are plenty of these desires that we must control. At the end of the day I respect and truly cherish the battle that those youth who plan to wait until marriage face. Telling young adults to simply act on their emotions is destructive.
Biological need? I’d like to see evidence, other than the simple fact that procreation is a necessity for survival. Sex is a wonderful gift that should be utilized in the right context. Self-control is an amazing thing and an ideal worth striving toward — especially when it comes to sex.
Marriage, too, is a social construct that has survived time’s whip. And while it is controversial, those who are married experience a love and bond that is quite different from many of those couples who live together without delving into a full-on commitment.
Love and lust could not be further away from one another, as experimentation such as Jillian mentioned typically indicates the latter. We often encourage our youth to use condoms and contraceptives, but we don’t explain to them the intricacies related to the fact that there’s truly no protection for the heart.
Abstinence education should have a firm place in schools and instructions. After all, its the only full proof method of ensuring health in the physical and mental sense. With this said, condom and contraceptive use is also a necessity. Advocates on both side often overlook the ways in which these two methods of instruction can and will compliment one another.
Its time that we truly and comprehensively educate our youth. I stand on the grounds that pre-marital sex is tough to avoid, but that it does cross some moral lines.
At the end of the day it’s all about personal choices, but simple "go-aheads," especially when they are issued to young people are more than a few feet off the mark.